And the Angels Fell Silent
by MasteringMagic
Summary: No one knows what happens after death. Mainly since no one has ever been able to come back once it's happened. So really, who's to say where you'll go? After all, dying and being reborn as a bawling baby boy wasn't at all what she expected to happen. It only gets worse when she realizes that the name her new mother and father keep calling her, is 'Iruka'. OC Self-Insert
1. The Land of Empty Space

Welcome to my fic! Read and enjoy, please. But on a quick side note, this fic is part of my 'Reincarnation Roulette' series, and is the sister fic to the other four self-insert stories that will center in this universe. They may overlap at some points, but if you want to get the story from the other SI's point of view, you will have to read their fics. Now, enough of business. Please enjoy!

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_There is no conclusive evidence of life after death. But there is no evidence of any sort against it. Soon enough you will know. So why fret about it?_

_-Lazarus Long_

* * *

Life kinda sucks. Especially when you're dead. One day I was a marginally successful woman in my twenties, satisfied with my job and position in life, and the next... I'm dead.

Of course, the fact that I _knew _I was dead made me rather surprised when I woke up. Well, I kind of woke up. It seemed like I was floating around in a wide open space, but I couldn't really _see_ anything. It felt like that moment right when you get out of bed, where you can feel all your limbs, but they still somehow seem oddly disconnected.

It wasn't a particularly pleasant feeling, but anything was better than the sensation of simple _nothingness _that I had experienced before.

_Ah, so you are finally awake._

I jumped, startled. I looked around as well as one could in a land of empty space, but there was nothing there. At this point, if I were still alive I would either be sweating nervously, or making use of my extensive and colorful vocabulary.

**I've already died, woken up, and was now apparently hallucinating all in one day. Just great.**

_There's no need to be frightened little one._ If anyone else had said that, I would have thought it was meant in a condescending manner. But somehow, this voice just made me feel… safe. That didn't mean I was just going to go along with this like a good little girl though. That would be way too out of character for me.

**No need to be frightened? No need to be frightened?! Look, I don't know where you came from, but in my world, when a person starts hearing voices it's generally seen as a bad sign.** I might have been acting a little rude, but really, give me a break. I'm not exactly having the best day here. **Wait… can you hear me?**

_Indeed I can. You are projecting your thoughts quite loudly after all._

**My… thoughts? Well whatever works for you, I guess**. The voice chuckled.

_As entertaining as this conversation is, I must admit that I have some ulterior motives for meeting with you in this place._

**Everyone does.** It laughed again before seeming to gain a more serious feel.

_If you wish… _The voice hesitated for a moment before continuing. _You will be given a second chance._

**At what?**

_At life._ It said simply. _You have the option of being brought back to the land of the living. I believe your people more commonly call it 'reincarnation'._

While many people would've jumped at this chance, I've always been good at reading in between the lives. The voice said that I would be reincarnated, but it didn't clarify if I would be human or not, or what gender or the place I would live. With this information in the forefront of my mind I decided to do the most logical action. So of course, I panicked. **I'm not gonna be reborn as a termite or something, am I?**

The presence seemed to chuckle.

_No, nothing quite as drastic. _It gained an almost mischievous feel. _In fact, I believe you are quite familiar with the world in question._

**Wait- world? I'm gonna be reborn into a different world?**

_That's about the size of it, yes._

**Will I remember my previous life?** I wasn't sure what I wanted to hear from the voice on that, to be completely truthful. If I were reborn, would I even want to remember it? To remember the people I've been forced to leave behind?

_Yes, you will._ It said quietly, sounding nearly regretful. _Unfortunately, you will have to keep your memories. It is one of the conditions of rebirth._

**One of the conditions? There's more? **Pushing aside the issue of my memories for now, I focused on the next topic.

_I will explain. Reincarnation is a delicate process by itself, but I have chosen you for a very specific reason. I have seen the future of my world, and while everything turns out well, it takes many sacrifices. Too many, in my opinion. So I have chosen several of your planet's humans to be reborn onto **my** planet in hopes they will change things for the better._

**And of all the people in the world, you chose me?**

_I feel you have the information and temperament needed in order to complete this task._

**If you say so. **I felt doubtful, but I wasn't about to disagree with my disembodied friend on this matter. I was really quite honored that it thought that _I_ was the best bet for its world to turn out good. I hadn't totally agreed to this plan yet, but the flattery had certainly helped in favor of it.

_Of course, there is a catch._

**Isn't there always?** The presence pulsed warningly at my interruption, so I decided to be quiet for now. This guy- person- thing- _whatever_, was offering me a second chance at life. With my memories intact, no less.

So this time, _just this one time_, I decided to shut up. Don't expect it to become a habit.

_But, _the voice continued, pausing threateningly to see if I would dare to try again, _there's a catch. If, at any point, my power is needed to defend my home world- the place you will be reborn, I will be forced to take it back. _I gulped nervously, a sudden lump making itself known in the bottom of my throat.

**And if you do that, what will happen to me? **I felt like I already knew the answer, but I had to make sure. The last time I had acted recklessly, it'd cost me my life. I'd _died_, because I was an arrogant moron who thought that I could handle it. That was a deterrent not to be stupid if there ever was one.

_You will die. _He, or at least I was pretty sure the voice was a he, murmured gently.

**Oh.** I wasn't quite sure how I felt about that information. Isn't that what I had been worrying about just a moment ago?

_Oh._ He echoed, waiting patiently for me to get my thoughts straight. _Are you prepared to take on such a commitment?_

Was I? Or, more importantly, was it even worth it? To go through the pain of life, the loss and heartache all over again? To live life knowing that I had already lived it once before? Could I bear to replace my friends and family with all new people that I could never tell of my previous life? And puberty, oh god, I'd have to go through _puberty _all over again. Could I do it?

But I suppose the most important question was the one I was trying to avoid the most.

Was I even ready to be, well… alive again? I'd enjoyed my time on Earth immensely, and I view upon it fondly now, good times and bad. But even I can admit I've made some pretty bad mistakes. I could never keep my mouth shut, was exceedingly violent, and trusted too much. It wasn't even a matter of being able to see the good in people, my problem was that I saw _only_ the good. I pushed away their dark sides, their flaws, and focused on the opposite. That mistake had left me heartbroken more than one time in my life, and I knew if I accepted the voice's offer, it would do it again. I trusted too much.

I _always_ trusted too much.

Which is probably why, when I opened my mouth to politely turn the nameless voice down, what instead decided to come out was a single word;

**Yes.**

* * *

So, I hope you enjoyed. My update schedule is on my profile page, and while I do my best to keep to it, sometimes things happen. But unless something extremely drastic happens, I will never abandon a fic. So please look foreword to more of our protagonists antics. Remember, she doesn't know she's going to be reborn as a boy yet, so that's gonna be some laughs! See you next time!

Lot's of Love, From MasteringMagic.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Though the main character of this fic is a _girl_ she is in the _body_ of a boy. She is still attracted to males, no matter what her gender is. So depending on how you look at it, this fic will contain trace elements of SLASH, SHOUNEN-AI, or YAOI, whatever you wish to call it. There are also some other characters that will engage in homosexual relations, either GAY, or LESBIAN. It won't be in explicit detail by any means (that's what cut-offs are for) but it will still exist. If you are offended by such content, please remember that I gave you a fair warning. And to those of you who are groaning, wondering if this story will be _only_ gay pairings, rest assured it will be mostly cannon couples, thus mostly het.

To everyone else, get ready for one heck of a ride!


	2. Revelations and Reluctance

Thanks for checking out my story, and as always read and enjoy! A quick note for a reviewer from last time, I addressed your review completely on the bottom of the chapter. Other people nervous about Iruka being in the body of a boy may want to check it out as well.

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"_He came into the world like a delivery that no one knew what to do with, and nobody wanted to sign for."_

― _Obert Skye_

* * *

So, a disembodied voice offers to bring me back to life. And I said yes. Barely even considering the price it would take, or what kind of dark magic it would require.

Not my best moment.

But in my defense, I _had_ just died. So I think I am a little entitled to some more emotional decisions.

Speaking of emotions, I was not feeling some very pleasant ones right now. I suppose being born will do that to you.

And no, I don't want to talk about it. Let's just say it involved a lot of pain, screaming, and more mentally scarring events than I care to think about.

Yeah, not touching _that_ one with a ten-foot pole. Just… no.

But speaking of my new life, I felt… strange. I figured that I would, since I would be in the body of a baby with the mind of a young woman. But this was a whole other type of strange, like there was something just completely different from my previous form besides the typical uselessness and squishy limbs that come from being a baby. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I managed to shove it away from my mind when I heard someone's voice.

The person holding me was speaking in soft tones, in a tongue I vaguely recognized. The pretty lilt of the Japanese language was drifting around me, and to my surprise I could understand. It reminded me of how I had known Spanish in my previous life. I could go to Spain and understand what was being said, but it still took an effort to filter it through my mind.

"Isn't he beautiful?" The woman gazed at me, eyes filled with adoration. I could only see fuzzy images, my weak baby eyes not quite up to snuff yet, but even I could tell that I probably looked anything but 'beautiful'. The woman, well, my 'mother' I suppose, was certainly beautiful. Even with dark circles under her eyes from the many sleepless nights I have no doubt been causing her and my new 'father', her hair was still a silky brown curtain, and her dark eyes seemed to sparkle every time they hit the light.

"Most boys wouldn't find being called _beautiful_ as much of a compliment." The man, 'father', chastised with a small smile. His dark hair was up in a high ponytail, a thin mustache on his face.

Despite his harsh words, he _seemed_ nice enough-

Wait a second…

He? Boys?

That better not mean what I _think_ it means.

Am I a… _boy_?

"What should we name him?" 'Mother' whispered softly.

"How about… Iruka. Umino Iruka."

Oh. _Oh_.

* * *

**I'm not gonna be reborn as a termite or something, am I?**

The presence seemed to chuckle.

_No, nothing quite as drastic. _It gained an almost mischievous feel. _In fact, I believe you are quite familiar with the world in question._

* * *

Hell no. I am _not_ in the world of Naruto, I am _not_ in the world of Naruto, I am _not_-

Okay, who am I trying to kid.

Upon finally realizing just where I was, finally realized I would grow up in a world full of fear and death, that I would be _Umino Iruka_, a guy at the central point of the story, I did the only thing that seemed logical at the time.

I cried.

* * *

We went home from the hospital soon enough, though I spent most of my time asleep. Sleep seemed to be my only comfort at the moment, as I wasn't quite ready to face reality yet.

I mean, a boy?

I'm not a boy, I'm a _girl_.

_I'm a girl I'm a girl I'm a girl I'm a girl I'm a girl-_

I AM A GIRL!

**(If I keep repeating it, eventually it will be true-)**

_I'm a girl I'm a girl I'm a girl I'm a girl I'm a girl-_

The little time I didn't spend sleeping, was spent crying. To be honest, I'm probably the worst baby in existence. Towards the end of my first month in my new body the crying was less out of grief like it had been before, and more out of spite.

My first impression of my new parents had actually been rather nice, and I'd felt pretty good about this whole thing until I had realized my new gender predicament.

Because of that, over the time I'd been in Konoha, I convinced myself that it was their fault I was like this. _They_ were the ones who had a baby, _they_ were the ones who lived in a village full of Shinobi **(depression-deception-destruction)**, and they were the ones who had to _exist-_

That is, until I realized just how stupid I was being. Was I really going to blame them for wanting a family? I mean, they gave me _life_ for Kami's sake, how could I ever hate them for that? If it was anyone's fault, it was that damn voice. Taking advantage of my fragile emotional state in order to coerce me into saving his stupid planet! Things like that are the reasons I hate helping people.

(Well, that and my nearly incurable laziness.)

So two months into my new life I decided to push my gender issues aside for the moment, and just focus on what I already had instead of what I didn't.

* * *

Hideo was my father. I found that he was a stern man, but never hesitated to give me an abundance of praise when I deserved it. I never doubted that he loved me, or that he cared for my well-being. He was the one out of my new set of parents that I spent the most time with. Though they were both shinobi, Tou-san was pretty much what I had deemed to be a secretary. He never outright told me what department he worked with, but I had my suspicions.

The fact that I'd seen him talking in low voices with people I remembered to be part of the T&I division was a bit of a hint. At first I was reluctant to connect my sweet, caring father with the faint memories I had of Ibiki and Anko. They were the only real examples that I had of T&I, and that wasn't exactly a promising indicator.

My mother was Ayano. Witty, clever, and a dirty mind to match her silver tongue. I have no doubt that she'd be able to charm the stripes off a zebra if she needed to. Kaa-chan is the more active ninja in the family, as she often left the village on missions that would sometimes extend to over a week. She seems to delight in making Tou-San as uncomfortable as possible, which is really my only source of entertainment these days. Well that, and ramen.

(Kaa-chan had snuck me some behind Tou-san's back, and dear _Kami_ was it delicious. I can totally tell why Naruto was so addicted now.)

And it was hilarious to watch the two's interaction with each other. Kaa-chan has absolutely no shame while Tou-san is a complete prude. Sometimes I swear he blushes more than Hinata. It's a wonder they even managed to have _me_.

And now I'm imagining them having sex…

Oh kami, why?

Clenching my chubby baby hands by my head, I whined, attracting Tou-san's attention. He knelt down to pick me up, all gentle hands and kind words.

"Are you alright Iruka-chan?" He questioned softly, rubbing my back. I gurgled in response, feeling myself begin to drift away to sleep.

I think I could get used to this.

* * *

So... Apparently the Umino's are an actual clan. Who knew? I mean, we've got a compound and everything. The place is fairly big, but it seems even bigger since we are the only people living there. I can't exactly talk yet, so I couldn't ask _why_ the place was so empty, but Tou-san must have noticed my confusion.

"This compound was once a happy and prosperous place, full of laughter and joy." He explained, taking me into his arms. Settling me comfortably in his lap, he sighed before continuing on. "The Umino's were brought to Konoha by the Shodai Hokage. We have served all the Hokage's since then. Often, we were even in their personal guard! But around fifty years ago in the second Shinobi world war, Konoha's enemies realized just how much information our clan had acquired over time. We had the Kage's favor after all, and we often worked with the Uchiha's police force as well. The Uchiha's have come to owe us many favors over the years, and vice versa. So slowly, carefully, we were picked off. Many of our clansmen were captured by the opposing force, but instead committed Seppuku rather than be forced to give away any information. Eventually, we dwindled down into what we are now." He looked at me solemnly, running a rough hand through the few brown strands of hair on my head. There was a glint of sadness in his eyes, so I reached a chubby hand to his cheek. I patted it softly, cooing in an attempt to convey my condolences.

It truly was a sad tale, and I felt a burst of anger for my ancestors. Because that's what they were, _my_ ancestors.

This was my life now, and these people were my family. I don't even know if I felt such a connection with my family in my earlier life. And I've really only known these people for a couple months! But with my Tou-san holding me gently and a blinding smile on his face as Kaa-chan came up behind him to grin brightly, I can honestly say I have never felt so loved.

One day, I'd like to see this place filled up again. I want my family to run through the halls, their laughter to float through the hallways. It'll be a little difficult, since I couldn't exactly have kids as a guy, but that's what adoption is for, right? Besides, having kids with someone else would open up a whole slew of phobias I have no interest in getting into right now. I'm having way too much fun.

(No one expects a six-month-old baby's drawings to be of elaborate pulley systems and traps instead of just random lines. What can I say, with Kaa-chan away on missions out of the village a lot and Tou-san always doing paperwork, I have a lot of time on my hands.)

There's ramen to be eaten, and people to harass. For now, life is good. And really, isn't that all anyone could ask for?

* * *

And to my reluctant reviewer: I'm afraid that it's already a little too late to make this a fem! Iruka fic. I already have the first twenty chapters planned out, and gender identity is going to be a big theme in the upcoming parts. But rest assured, Iruka _does not see herself as a boy_. For characters that know that, they will refer to her as a _girl_, but characters that don't know will refer to her as a _boy_. If this really makes you uncomfortable, I will soon be uploading the other parts of this series. Two of those will be centered on a completely female character. One of them may be more to your liking than this. But I urge you to at least give it a try. Thanks for the review by the way!

To everyone else, thanks again for viewing and I hope you enjoyed! I will repeat my warning from last chapter this one last time:

IMPORTANT NOTE: Though the main character of this fic is a _girl_ she is in the _body_ of a boy. She is still attracted to men, no matter what her gender is. So depending on how you look at it, this fic will contain trace elements of SLASH, SHOUNEN-AI, or YAOI, whatever you wish to call it. There are also some other characters that will engage in homosexual relations, either GAY, or LESBIAN. It won't be in explicit detail by any means (that's what cut-offs are for) but it will still exist. If you are offended by such content, please remember that I gave you a fair warning. And to those of you who are groaning, wondering if this story will be _only_ gay pairings, rest assured it will be mostly cannon couples, thus mostly het.

See you next time!

Lot's of Love, From MasteringMagic.


	3. The Wrong Punchline

Please read and enjoy!

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_Reflect upon your present blessings - of which every man has many - not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some._

_-Charles Dickens_

* * *

Time has passed by a little quicker than I would have liked. It seemed every second that went by had me getting closer and closer to a world I wasn't ready to face. I'm not sure if I'll ever be.

Kaa-chan and Tou-san never push me into something I don't want, but I can tell that they mean for me to become a Shinobi. And really, why would they think I didn't want to? They don't know of my previous life, don't realize I once had a culture and lifestyle completely different from this one. Being a Shinobi was a great honor, every child wanted to be one at some point.

Tou-san sometimes brings me around the village with him when he is playing messenger, and I can see everything on these days. The costumers and stall vendors haggling, Shinobi jumping from roof-top to roof-top, and even the Hokage mountain.

That, had been a big surprise. I knew I was in the world of Naruto, but it was still a shock to finally have some concrete proof. But what's more surprising I think, is that there are only three faces.

At this point I'm only two years old, which means Sarutobi is still the Hokage. From what I remember, Minato doesn't become the Hokage until after Obito's 'death', which has yet to happen as far as I know. I mean, since I'm only two, Kakashi, Obito, and Rin should only be about six years old. Not quite ready to fall into the roles of their older selves yet. But then again-

"Iruka-chan?" I turned around, startled. It was hard to find some time to myself with Tou-san always hovering about, so I tended to find some dark corner of the compound and sit there for a couple of hours once I needed a break from being a little kid. It didn't usually take long for him to find me, but even a single second was better than nothing. Looking at the person who had managed to sneak up behind me during my 'pondering' time, I frowned.

"You're not Tou-san." Yeah, I can talk now. It took a while due to all of my misconceptions about the language, but the easiest way to speak a new language is to get dumped into a place that only spoke it. Fortunately or unfortunately, (depending on how a person looks at it) that's exactly what happened to me. It certainly helped that people never became suspicious when I stumbled over my words, as I'm only a child.

"Indeed I am not." He smiled at me, and somehow it seemed to be a strange expression on him, as if it didn't quite fit on his face. I immediately went on guard, snuggling in closer to my corner. The man, _boy_ really, he couldn't be older than ten, had grey, almost chin length hair. His bangs were held back by his black Konoha Hitai-ate, and he was wearing a high collared shirt and gray shorts, a large pouch wrapped around his waist. To my alarm, I could just barely make out the tip of a Tanto underneath it. That smile (more of a grimace really) was stretched across his face and had a very tight edge to it. "But I am here to watch over you. He had an emergency mission that he couldn't skip out on."

"Oh really?" I asked skeptically. I'm not sure how developed things like ROOT are in this time period, but I'm not taking any chances. My parents had already realized how intelligent I was, and I was rather anti-social the few times that they had brought me outside the compound. Not to sound vain, but with how valued my clan had once been and the fact that we are often ignored now a days in favor of the major clans, I was a prime kidnapping victim. So in cases like this, it was best to just bullshit my way through until help arrives. "What's the secret password?"

He blanched, and the smile slipped off his face to be replaced with a dark frown.

"Password? Hideo-san didn't say anything about there being a secret password."

"If he told people about the password, it would no longer be a secret." I retorted, crossing my arms before turning my back on him with a pout.

"Look kid, I really don't want to deal with this shit." He growled.

I fake gasped, spinning around to point at him threateningly.

"You said a bad word!" He snarled at me, turning around abruptly to stomp away.

"Damn it." I heard him mutter. "I knew Naori should have taken this mission. I fucking hate kids."

I was content to just let him go so that I could sulk in peace, until I saw the symbol on the back of his shirt. I stiffened in shock.

It was the Uchiha fan.

* * *

So, against my better judgement, I ran after the Uchiha kid. It was pretty obvious now that I thought about it. I mean, the dark hair and eyes, the surly attitude, social ineptness, all typical traits of the Uchiha.

I had only just caught up to him when he grabbed my wrist in a punishing grip.

"Ow!" I exclaimed in a wince. "What was that for?" His hold on me loosened, and for a moment he looked apologetic, but he quickly schooled it back into a blank mask. It didn't seem like he really meant any harm, but he obviously didn't know how to deal with kids.

And even if he did, it wouldn't help him to deal with me.

"So..." I said awkwardly, scratching my arm so I could at least feel somewhat busy. I had to almost jog so that I could keep up with his longer strides, and he didn't seem interested in making it any easier for me. "What's your name?" He looked down at me, and I could tell by the look in his eyes that he felt just as awkward as I did.

"Uh, Naka. Uchiha Naka." He said gruffly, returning his gaze to the tree line ahead of us.

Inwardly, I snickered._ Bond, James Bond._

But on the outside, I kept my face blank. Should I continue with my petulant brat scheme, or go for something new? As we reached the market place, I was debating whether to start yelling about him kidnapping me, or to start demanding that he buy me everything in sight. But then, a terrible thought occurred to me.

What if Tou-san withheld my ramen because of bad behavior? The horror!

I'd unknowingly stopped dead in the middle of the street, my eyes wide with incomprehension.

He wouldn't really do that, would he? No, I'm a _good_ kid. I **_deserve_** my ramen. They can't take it away from me!

"-kid? Kid are you alright?" Someone was speaking to me. But I don't have time to talk! My ramen is at stake!

"You can't have my ramen!" I spazzed, waving my arms around until I accidentally smacked my Uchiha kidnapper right in the face.

Ah, crud.

I chuckled fearfully, seeing the steaming look on his face.

"S-sorry Naka-san." He just glowered at me before dragging me into a compound. With all the dark-haired, fan crested, constipated looking people, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that this is the Uchiha compound. But-

"Why did you take me here?" I asked in a confused tone.

"I have to watch you for the rest of the day, or at least until your father gets back from his mission. I figured it would be easier to do that here, where I'll at least know my way around so I can find you if you decide to run off or something."

Smart, I'll admit, but I'm not gonna be the one to tell him that. No Uchiha needs their ego to be inflated anymore than it already is.

Although, Naka seems different than the typical Uchiha. More… uncertain maybe? A lot like the prepubescent boys I remember from my previous life. It's actually kind of nice to find that no matter what dimension you're in, some things never change.

Including the fact that no matter how smart this kid thinks he is, it won't stop me from messing with him and the rest of his family. If there's one thing I've always been good at, it's causing chaos.

I sniggered to myself.

Oh yes; there will be chaos.

* * *

Naka's house was surprisingly nice. A typical Japanese feudal era home with the sliding rice paper doors, but with a surprisingly modern kitchen. Weird. But anyways, we were just hanging out, chilling in the kitchen after Naka had managed to stop me from attempting to douse the whole compound in Catnip to see if their own cat summons would attack them. I thought it was a hilarious idea, but Naka and the twenty other Uchiha's that got roped into my scheme didn't seem to agree. Can't imagine why...

"Hm?" I perked up a bit, hearing someone come up the walk to the house. _Ooh_, a pretty lady.

"Nee-san…" Naka muttered as he saw her enter the house. I looked her up and down, interested. So this was his sister then? She has the same gray hair and bone structure, but the haughty edge to her features is completely different from her sibling's.

"Naka-kun." The woman swept up to us with a superior air. Now, _this_ was a typical Uchiha. "Why exactly have you brought this child into our home?" Naka shifted uneasily for a moment before answering.

"It's part of my mission. She will be easier to keep track of here." The woman raised an eyebrow.

Wait, _**she**_? How did he-

"She? Naka-kun, this is obviously a male." Oh, right. Little miss Condescending is still here. Naka did a double take at me, and to my surprise he blushed dark red in embarrassment.

I can see how he made the mistake though. I have my hair down, and it is rather long. It's apparently a tradition in the Umino clan for the men to have ponytails, a precedent set by the first well-known Umino, the one who came to Konoha with the Senju and Uchiha clans. Besides, even if they thought they were wrong, it was nice to be called my correct gender for once.

"Umino-kun!" He blurted out, looking positively mortified. "Please accept my apology, I had no idea-"

"Don't worry about it." I smiled, reaching up to grab his hand. The surprised look he gave me confirmed my suspicions. Obviously he didn't get enough attention at home, or at least something of the like. "I don't care how people view me. I know who I am, and so do the people closest to me. That's all that matters in the end." The woman stared at me incredulously, while Naka's eyes held a hint of something I couldn't decipher.

"Humph." She dismissed. "I don't have time for this anyways. I just came to see if my darling brother had unlocked his Sharingan yet." She sneered. "Obviously not, if you're getting missions to babysit know-it-all brats like this."

_Oh_, that made me steam. The things I would do if there were no witnesses around…

On second thought I still have that paint-bomb tag that I 'ahem' borrowed from Kaa-chan. She was rather well-known for them, (well, that and the rest of her pranking habits).

Decisions, decisions...

* * *

Okay, so I might have set the tag on his sister. Y'know, _possibly_.

**(But I totally did.)**

She _seemed_ fine with it too, if you ignored all of the screaming and threats. She had stormed off, vowing vengeance, (bitch, Madara is the only Uchiha allowed to do that!), which would have been more convincing if she hadn't been covered in pink and orange splotches.

Naka, however, looked stunned.

He slid down the wall, somehow seeming entirely graceful as he did so, (damn Uchiha's!), to sit beside me. I glanced at him nervously. What was I supposed to say in this sort of situation? Sorry for getting you in trouble with your clan? Opening my mouth in a struggle for reassurance to give him, I was (thankfully) interrupted by a strange noise.

Sounded almost like- choking?

No, wait- I glanced over at Naka to see that his shoulders were shaking.

Is he crying?

I began to panic for one scary moment. I've never been too good at comforting people, especially kids. And even if Naka was a 'Ulite Uchiha', he's still a kid. He's only nine years old after all. But luckily enough, he wasn't crying.

He was... laughing.

He tilted his head back to rest against the wall, a bright expression on his face. He laughed and laughed, and then I started to laugh as well. We kept on going until it was just us two idiots giggling to themselves in the ruins of what was before a beautiful home.

Finally, we were left gasping for breath, holding our sides and leaning on each other without a care in the world.

"It's been a long time since I got to laugh like that." Naka admitted, shifting slightly so that his arm was over my shoulders. He was determinedly avoiding my gaze when I looked up, so I tactfully decided not to mention it. Besides... It was kind of nice. I think this is what having siblings is like.

"Ne, Naka?"

"Hm?"

"Can I call you Aniki?"

"Sure, _Imouto_."

Yep, just two idiots hanging out in the paint covered remains of an extremely expensive looking kitchen.

Meh. Stranger things have happened.

* * *

Tou-san came to pick me up soon enough, and managed to somehow sweet-talk his way out of paying for the damages done to Snooty Pants' wardrobe. Oh, and Naka's house. But it was all okay in the end.

That night when I was laying in my bed, I contemplated my earlier words.

_"I don't care how people view me. I know who I am, and so do the people closest to me. That's all that matters in the end."_

I think… for the first time in three very long years, I'm ready to believe them.

* * *

I hope you enjoyed, and thanks for the reviews! Depending on how many chapters I get finished I may update more than once this week. But I will definitely update on the following Wednesday no matter what.

Lot's of Love, From MasteringMagic.


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